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Things I Wish I Had Said
6 April 2005 
2nd-Nov-2005 09:59 pm
honey lick
I wrote this to someone nearly 7 months ago, but never sent it. I should have.

Dear ----,

I have time and time again extended myself to you. I have offered my love, friendship, support in every way I can given the circumstances. You have fought me at every turn. Despite this, I continue to let you know that I am here when/if you should need me.

I do not know what to do at this point. You seem completely unwilling to accept kindness and love from someone who is asking nothing of you in return. In fact, you seem offended by it and determined to push it away, as you have nearly everything else.

I am beginning to think that you choose to live in a state of pain because it is what is familiar to you. Time and time again you make choices that lead you down that path. I can understand this, but I cannot participate in it.

Extending myself any further to you would be to my emotional detriment. I have offered and given all that I am capable of without losing myself in the process.

This cannot continue. For the time being I am letting this go. If you want to fight, you are going to have to find someone else as your sparring partner.

When you are ready, I will be here.
Comments 
2nd-Nov-2005 10:21 pm (UTC)
Things I Should Have Said...

Someone really missed out on a great friend.
2nd-Nov-2005 10:25 pm (UTC)
Thanks, love. And while I am not actively engaging ---- anymore, I will as I said still be here if and when that person needs me. That is love, that is friendship, that is me.
2nd-Nov-2005 10:30 pm (UTC)
Where were you a few years ago? *sigh* What might have been... (you're still one of my online crushes)...
2nd-Nov-2005 10:31 pm (UTC)
aw, bless. you are such a sweetie.
2nd-Nov-2005 10:34 pm (UTC)
I don't want to hear sweetie... I want to hear *ouch* and *do it again*... ;)
2nd-Nov-2005 10:35 pm (UTC)
aw, bless. you are such an OUCH! please please please do that again!

that better?
2nd-Nov-2005 10:39 pm (UTC)
w00t! Yes! hehehe...

You rock! Getting tingly in the naughty bits yet, love?
2nd-Nov-2005 10:39 pm (UTC)
(((blush)))
2nd-Nov-2005 10:45 pm (UTC)
awww... aren't you sweet?

Sounds like you need the kind of love making that goes on for days and days and days...
2nd-Nov-2005 10:58 pm (UTC)
i can pick you up from heathrow or gatwick
2nd-Nov-2005 11:02 pm (UTC)
As long as I can still have the right side of the bed...
2nd-Nov-2005 11:04 pm (UTC)
i prefer the left anyway
2nd-Nov-2005 11:07 pm (UTC)
Like I said... where were you a few years ago? Dammit!
2nd-Nov-2005 11:08 pm (UTC)
hindsight.

and to answer you - define a few.

4 years ago I moved to SF, before that I was in LA for a year and a half, before that Seattle for 6. I think that covers more than a few.
2nd-Nov-2005 11:16 pm (UTC)
Seattle... now, I know... yeah, hindsight... I'm taking something of a more personal note to email... not that giving you a good shagging wouldn't be personal...
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